Jonah was a cowboy?

[GTRS Fiero]

Today, my kids are in a play.  This is the culmination of a week-long theater camp.  The play is supposedly based on the story of Jonah, but there can only be a loose connection.  I highly doubt there were cows or cowboys in the actual event.  This play has a very Western theme.

There are more than 100 children in the cast, so this will probably be interesting.

[GTXVette]

 


       O M G  That's Funny Right There......  Do Have Fun,   And will need a Critiqe reveiw.

[GTRS Fiero]

Well, my recollection of the Bible must be sketchy.  In this play, Jonah was a cowboy from the Old West.  He communicated with God via telegraph.  That was some key on the telegraph, because it could somehow use fewer taps to send Morse Code with dots only, at a normal speaking rate.  Also, Jonah was an Old Testament story, but somehow he was there for the crucifixion, which was a New Testament story.  Jonah ran away in a stagecoach, with the marshal, a schoolteacher, and 2 girls, causing a sandstorm.  Did I forget that Jonah was dropped into a well, where he stayed for 3 days and 3 nights.  Oh, and he had brothers, the 3 Amigos.  His main squeeze was the telegrapher.  And the washing maids of Nineveh cleaned all the city's dirty laundry, but had no baskets or clothes--just marshmallows that they were always eating.  After the sandstorm, the villagers were so happy they ate 6-inch spiral lollipops.

The play was humorous.  I couldn't see everything because I was a few rows back, flat seasting, and some things were done on the floor, rather than the stage.  My kids did well.  Actually, my only real complaints were the things being too low for most of the audience to see and some audio issues.

[GTRS Fiero]

We had a squirt-gun fight to celebrate and cool off.  I found some old squirt-guns (that leak terribly now) and we had some fun.  At least, it was fun until somebody decided that we were not supposed to use squirt-guns.  They wanted us to use these awkwardly large things shaped like fish.  Guns are the best thing to use when you need guns.  Fish are a lousy substitute.  How are children supposed to learn about guns, unless they use them?

When the adults (who were not parents of these children) started squawking about the squirt-guns, we parents soaked the complainers with water-balloons...accidentally, of course.  They got in the way of the balloons.  Perhaps these interlopers weren't illiterate enough to read the no trespassing signs.

The squirt-gun battle was held on fenced private land.  The kids decided that the unarmed, squawking adults made far better targets than their fellow squirt-gun-laden combatants, so these interlopers got soaked quickly.  Unfortunately, the words and temper tantrum that followed were unpleasant.  I suggested that even losers shouldn't behave that badly.  These people finally left, after they stepped on the yellow-jacket nest.  Those little yellow devils came out of their hole a-purpose.  I'll burn some kerosene in that hole after dark.

[Fierofool]

Use a 20 oz. soda bottle filled with gasoline.  Shove the neck of the bottle into the hole.  That will plug the hole to keep them from coming out at you and will allow all the gasoline to go into the hole and drench the nest.  Give it about 5 minutes, then light it with a long stick and piece of paper. 

[GTRS Fiero]

My dad did that.  When he landed, he was still on fire.  He got terrible burns on his hands and arms, and some on his face.  They grafted skin onto his arms.

I used to use a flame-thrower (basically a torch with a 1-inch jet, capable of spraying flame maybe 30 feet on stream, or maybe 10-15 feet on spray, but it was very thirsty, and I don't have it anymore.  It was originally to de-ice the driveway, but also works for burning trash, burning dead animals, running off coyotes, and getting rid of pesky flying insects.

[Fierofool]

On the farm we used a pint jar of gasoline doused onto the nest.  We had to be careful about doing it on a slope because the vapors would run downhill and when ignited would set other things on fire.  We did use a long stick to ignite it so as not to suffer the consequences your dad suffered.  BTW, they keep guards at the entrance to the nest, even at night and they will attack if not done quickly.  Always plan your route of escape beforehand. 

[GTRS Fiero]

Escaped.  Hope the mission was a success.

Guards are the reason for a flame-thrower, but have to be careful of dry grass.

[GTXVette]

   

     that is the most entertaining post I've seen here,     glad the Jackets finished off the unwanted Guest's intrusion.

[GTRS Fiero]

I think the kids are finally worn out.  Not a peep yet this morning.  Karate and climbing the rocks last Saturday, a hike on Sunday, a week of theater camp, various activities in the evenings, karate, the play, and a water fight yesterday, followed by their chores may have been enough to wear them out a bit.