My kids will be playing baseball, supposedly. We'll see how this goes. I did baseball, one year (who would want to wear those outfits in public)? I was a natural--except that I couldn't catch, hit, or throw, and had no knowledge of or interest in the activity. For anyone else that gets roped into a baseball activity, allow me to share some things I learned that may help. Also, beware that they keep making up rules as they go.
1. Beware their ambiguous language. When they say, "after hitting the ball, let go of the bat", what they actually mean is, "after hitting the ball, gently set the bat down on the ground".
2. When you're about to get to the first plate, there is a guy there, blocking your way, usually sticking his arm out. The following are unacceptable ways to deal with this obstruction: grab arm, knee crotch; cross body block; elbow to the jaw; elbow to the chest.
3. When they say, "don't let the guy tag you with the ball", don't kick his arm, his head, or his chest. Actually, apparently, the guy with the ball can do some chicken thing, without getting anywhere near you.
4. The guy at the plate furthest from the batting plate does not like being growled at. He will complain. In fact, if you tell him that you'll plow him out of your way, your team will be docked points.
5. Sometimes, there is a guy in the way between that plate and the next plate. He does it on purpose. There is no acceptable way to deal with this guy. When he regains consciousness, he complains. Also, he is apparently unable to jump. If you jump over him, they claim you cheated. Taking the ball from him does not work, either. Running around him incurs more made-up rules.
6. It seems that there are more plates, but mostly, the people stay out of your way, as they should--except the guy wearing all the gear; he determinedly placed his head in the path of my knee. This caused an additional delay in an activity that seems to be mostly standing around, doing nothing. One of the guys tried to trip me, which he was apparently allowed to do, but you are not allowed to sweep his legs. The rules are rather skewed.
7. For some reason, it's OK for the guy who throws the ball to hit you; however, if the ball makes contact with your bat and hits him, you get into trouble. It isn't as if I have any control over that.
8. When they say, "do whatever it takes to catch the ball" (playing in the grass), they actually mean, "catch the ball, if convenient". There are lists of made-up rules here.
9. When they say, "throw the ball at [so-and-so]", they actually mean, "gently throw the ball in the general viscinity of [so-and-so]". As my coach told the other team, "you need to put your glove between your head and that ball!"
10. They let me throw the ball at the batter. I told the coach that this was a bad idea, because the ball could go anywhere, but he wouldn't listen. No one wanted to bat for the other team.
11. In general, if a player on the other team gets knocked out, they will make up a rule sgainst you.
