You know you're getting old when...

[GTRS Fiero]

I sat down to dinner, and started looking through the menu.  The lighting was dim, and I was having a hard time making out the words.  The waitress came by, and asked me if I'd like some more time.  I asked where the drinks were, and she said on the back.  I turned to the back...and realized that I was holding the menu upside down.

When I placed my order, I read off the menu what I thought it said.  My wife made a face, then changed my order.  Apparently, ”puffered meat lover's sandwich” isn't what the menu says.

When I went up to pay the checque, they asked if I'd like the senior discount.  No, I would not!

My wife offered to read the menu for me, going forward.  Really, it was the dim lighting, but the micro print didn't help.

[Fierofool]

Not only vision, but hearing, too. 

I was having hearing issues after having sand blasted for a continuous 8 hours or so, without hearing protection.  The wife kept demanding that I get a hearing test and a hearing aid if tests showed I needed it.  She went with me to be sure I kept the appointment with the audiologist.  It was a young lady we both knew.

The audiologist did a workup with visual examinations and questions prior to the time I was going to be placed in the sound proof booth to determine what frequency range I couldn't hear and which ear was affected.  One of the questions she asked was "Is there any particular sound you can't hear?"  My response didn't set well with she or my wife, when I said "Yes!  My Wife".

True story. 

[GTRS Fiero]

Did you have to visit the MD that day, also?

I have a terrible time hearing the TV.  My wife always wants to know why the TV is so loud.  I can usually hear people just fine.  Listening is another story.

[Fierofool]

We can't afford a hearing custom designed for me.  I'm using one of those cheapy sound amplifier hearing devices that they advertise on TV.  A VHP-220/220T.  It has a high or low frequency setting and a volume.  I can hear very well with it, but sometimes background noise overpowers everything. 

Yes, I did have to go to the doctor.  I got really clumsy and fell into a door knob.  Twice.  And I walked nose first into a wall in the dark, too.  Didn't break my nose, but it sure did bleed a lot.     

[GTRS Fiero]

Someone told me that their hearing aid cost $6,000!  For that price, the hearing should be permanently fixed.  No batteries.

[Fierofool]

They can cost more than that.  I had an elderly friend (94) who had retired from a large corporation.  Good retirement so she could afford it.  She was almost totally deaf.  She had 2 hearing aids that cost nearly $10,000 each.  She had a necklace that she could tune in to the audio system at our Council meetings.  Wireless.  She had used it in corporate meetings and seminars when she was working. 

[GTRS Fiero]

10K, each?!  For that price, I'd better never hear them go off in church, and they should never need a recharge.  They should be auto-ranging, so they can pick up slight sounds that are far away, but not deafen the wearer for loud sounds.