Decathlon?

[GTRS Fiero]

I'm considering entering a decathlon this Spring, before I'm too old and decrepit.  Last time (some years ago) I wanted to enter, I got sick for a year, instead.

It isn't all track events.  There are 10 categories, and 1 event must be chosen from each category.  The first category contains 1 event: a 40-mile hike.  This event usually takes about 12 hours, and you qualify if you finish in fewer than 17 hours.  The other categories spread events from wrestling, boxing, kickboxing, and climbing, to fencing, weight lifting, various target shooting (bow, rifle, handgun), swimming, and some running events.

Obviously, I won't be swimming, weight-lifting, or doing much running.  I'll have to re-qualify for several events to participate, because I have nothing of record for years.

Points are assigned to each event, but I have to choose 1 event each from 3 full-contact categories.  So, 1 wrestling event, 1 kickboxing event, and 1 boxing event.  I've never even heard of some of the disciplines.  Anyway, I have the same problem as last time: no one is in my weight class.  I do not want to box with anyone who has 100 pounds on me.  20 pounds, maybe, but I don't intend to get hurt.  Participants are allowed to wear a cup.  No gloves, head gear, chest gear, etc.  This is a family event, so no biting, gouging, groin hits, etc.

I can decline a match with a particular competitor, but that forfeits maximum points to that competitor.  In a match, competitors rarely get maximum points.  If I agree to a higher weight class, I'm obliged to match or forfeit all in that class.  It's again been suggested that I compete in the women's division, but 2 of them are in a heavier class.  I don't want to be boxing women.  That wouldn't seem to send the right message to my son.  Besides, if I lost the match, I got bested by a woman; if I won, I beat up on a woman.  And no, my wife isn't able or willing to participate.  Besides, there is nowhere safe to hit a woman.  If a guy gets hurt, it's a battle-scar, but a woman...  I just can't get serious about fighting a woman.

[Fierofool]

The first step in starting your training:  See a Cardiologist!

[GTRS Fiero]

Yeah, training comes first.  My heart doesn't worry me as much as my lungs.  I'm missing half of one lung, but I ran track that way.

Doctors.  One of my kid brother's grade-school teachers went in for a routine check-up.  As part of the check-up, they put him on a treadmill, while hooked up to various testing equipment.  The teacher had a heart attack and died.  This just after this teacher had been given a clean bill on his heart.

Everyone must pass a physical.  I'll get shots in my knees to help.

[Fierofool]

The husband of one of my cousins was a retired Navy pilot.  In order to keep his certification, he had to put in so many hours flight time and that required a regular physical.  He also had a heart attack while on the treadmill, but he survived. 

[GTRS Fiero]

I'll have to demonstrate that I can defend myself on the mat and in the ring.  For the physical fitness, 250 situps, 50 chin-ups, 50 pushups, and run a mile in less than 6 minutes.  I'll have to do some of those climbing things with ropes.  I'll have to get in the water and flop about, but don't have to pass anything if not swimming.  I'll have to demonstrate flexibility.  I'll have to take classes on handling fatigue and dehydration.

Among the listed disciplines are judo, jiu-jitsu, karate, kenpo, kung fu, akido, taekwondo, jujutsu, and a few I've never heard of.  I have no titles, so I'll have to demonstrate in 3.

For fencing, oddly, I'll demonstrate in epee, although I only compete with a saber.  My last record was during my freshman year of college.  I was pulled out of competition, because one of my knees collapsed.  I took third, but never lost.

Track was last my junior year of high school.  I wasn't a distance runner, but had issues with my knees, which is why I was pulled out of state competition.

[TopNotch]

As part of the check-up, they put him on a treadmill, while hooked up to various testing equipment.  The teacher had a heart attack and died.

I've had to do the treadmill thing once every three years AFTER my heart attack. Never any problems with it. Maybe it's better to have the heart attack first, and then do the treadmill.

[GTRS Fiero]

Sounds like a plan.  I detest treadmills.  Hard surface, short space.  Fine for walking, but as soon as I try to jog, one foot gets off the belt, and I get launched off the treadmill.

[GTRS Fiero]

Last year, Tammy completed a "Canine Biathlon".

...

She completed a ~4 mile obstacle course, and took one of our dogs (hence the "canine" part) with her, to compete, too.

This may not sound like much but it was special, because three years prior, she was so sick and out of shape, that she could barely walk up our stairs from the garage. She had had pneumonia twice, and an infected gall bladder removed, all in the space of 1-2 years.

She's going to do it again this spring.

Dangling modifiers?  Poor Tammy!  Can she walk up the stairs, now?  How many gall bladders does she have?  Do they regenerate?

When I read the part about her getting her gall bladder removed again this Spring, I about fell out of my chair.

Sorry.  I couldn't help myself.  I guess some of this was the dog.

[GrannyLinda]

I Had My Gall Bladder Removed Last May

[GTRS Fiero]

The gall of whomever did that!

We went ice skating for a few hours, last night.  It was an outdoor rink.  The promised snow did not materialize, and the music was terrible.  The temperature was 10 degrees warmer than this morning. I guess I should skate more often, but my muscles are still there, because they're all vying to remind me.

[GTRS Fiero]

Well, I ran the mile in 6 minutes.  I had someone help pace me, to keep my speeds down.  My goal was to run just under 6 minutes.  I was really winded, afterward.  After the break, I completed the physical fitness, although the situps and chinups took a while.  Resting is allowed, provided your feet don't touch the floor.

[Roger]

Rule 1, I a'int running. I pack heat. I walk over 7 miles every day just at work. Then I have a honey-do list when I get home. Then I get plenty of sit-ups and pull-ups crawling under my Fiero and truck (I haven't got time to get under my Firebird and get it finished...yet), I swim like a light rock, I'll climb a tree but not a rope, roller blade but no ice skating, treadmill only if I have a beer in front of me. Doctor says I've got a heart like a Mack truck but he's just practicing. Both shoulders and left knee shot from snow skiing (doc said I'd never do it again). Guess I showed him. Right knee still recovering. Ca'int hear, got to wear glasses, can't remember a darn thing but I can still make enough to pay bills so, I guess I'll be around for a while.

[GTRS Fiero]

I can crawl under my truck, but don't fit under my Fiero.  I write things down, so only have to remember where.

[GTRS Fiero]

Bad news.  My right leg bone is apparently too weak.  It would seem that they could cut out the weak part and make it strong.

[Roger]

Ouch! How did they figure that out? A sonogram? That sounds mighty painful! Sorry to hear that.